Speaking My Truth-John Chuchman

cta2bpic

Silence Broken

What is important to me

must be spoken/written,

made verbal, shared,

even at the risk of having my ego bruised

or being misunderstood.

The sharing heals me,

beyond any other effect.

To question

or to speak what I believe

has brought some pain.

but we all hurt in so many different ways,

and pain either changes or ends.

I had betrayed myself into small silences,

by not saying what had to be said,

while I was beholden to someone else’s words.

But then, I began to recognize a source of power

within myself

that comes from the knowledge

that while it is desirable not to be angry,

learning to put my anger into a perspective

gave me great strength.

In silence,

I drew the face of my own fear,

fear of contempt, of censure, of judgment, of recognition, of challenge,

of isolation.

But most of all, I think, I feared the visibility

without which none of us can truly live,

and that visibility which made me most vulnerable

turns out to be the source of my greatest strength.

In the transformation of my silence into language and action,

it was vitally necessary for me to establish or examine

my role in that transformation

and to recognize it as vital

to that transformation.

For those of us who write,

it is necessary to scrutinize not only the truth of what we speak,

but the truth of the language by which we speak it.

I am driven to share and spread the words

that are meaningful to me.

It is necessary to for me to live and speak

those truths which I believe and know

beyond understanding.

Because in this way alone

can I survive and grow,

by taking part in a process of life

that is creative and continuing,

that is growth.

The fact that I exist

and that I speak/write my words

is an attempt to break silence

and bridge differences between us,

for it is not difference which immobilizes us,

but silence.

There are so many silences to be broken.

by John Churchman


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